silence

I realize how much I miss you
I always knew I would
But sitting alone
Really brings it home

Can I remember
The first time you said my name?
I can remember
The last--but it wasn't the same.

I realize how much I miss you
I always knew I would
But sitting here just remembering you
Reminds me my Paul is gone for good...


i'm gonna listen to what you always say. said. your mantra, im going to, just not yet baby. not yet. i still need you to live inside me... i know it was for my worries and my daily trials, but i need you now, i need your strength and your scent and your love and arms wrapped back around me or i feel as though i wont survive... im crumbling without you...

Sail on sweet girl, sail on...

turn me left, turn me right
turn me anywhere but facing you.

your eyes are full of lies and love
and i hate you for it.

keep away, baby.

just keep away.

why.

thesaurus optional. yes. thats my life. i could use a general boring phrase, but why? i could say i "wasted hours playing Mafia Wars yesterday", but why when i can switch it up to things like "spent my day hitlisting"?

i never liked using dull words. i blame my 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. Mickle, who said things like "be vivvvacious!" and "yes, dahhhling". she was fat and eccentric with ridiculously beautiful hair, and i admired the hell out of her. she's not why i love words, but she is the person i most remember for good use of them.

i dont know when i began to love words. i dont know why either, but what i do remember is being 6 or 7 and trying to read The Babysitters Club series and Judy Bloom books, and having to use a dictionary... and my parents had a BIG dictionary. it was an old Websters, and it was, in no exaggeration, a foot thick. ive asked them to leave it to me in their Will. seriously.

i write all the time, just in the past 10 years or so its been work related or in emails sent about nothing. so ive decided to get back to that love of words i had years ago, thanks to a new and very interesting friend of mine.

So, somewhere along this long, wordless road i got lost, and dammit, im going to find myself again if it kills me... lets hope it doesnt!

and to my friend who gently shoved me in the blogging direction, the photo is for you. <3