surgery? why yes, thank you, i'll take two.

i have 2 days till my surgery for cubital tunnel syndrome. wtf is that? yeah, i thought the same thing. cubital-tunnel.com has all the answers, and i know this, cause i have been pouring over the site since i was diagnosed. im lucky enough to have gotten a score of 2 on my EMG test, which means i only have 10% feeling in my left hand's pinky and ring fingers. pretty as those bitches are, i cant feel 'em.

so im getting what is called "Submuscular Transposition of the Ulnar Nerve for Cubital Tunnel Syndrome" AKA "anterior transposition surgery" which moves the nerve, which is pinched, from the back of my elbow to the inside of my elbow, cutting thru the muscle and sometimes bone to get to it. photos? suuuure.

http://adamtuliper.blogspot.com/2008/11/surgery-day-for-ulnar-nerve.html

he and i are lucky enough to be getting the same surgery. amazing who you can find on a site specifically for people who are diagnosed with the same "disease". interesting, in comparison to the vastness of the world wide web. wow, how off topic of me.

anyway, i have the option to go under all the way or be awake with a local. I AM NOT STUPID. knock me out, doc, i want no recollection of this. but, as with all surgeries, i have a few reservations. they all include me dying. which im not a fan of. i want to see my daughter again. shes awesome. and only 3 years old, so its kind of important to me to make sure she grows up right...

so ive got surgery scheduled and everything at my job is secured, finished, taken care of completely, but my personal "job" is a mess. however, im not dusting in case i may die, cause that would just be a waste.

then there is the 8-10 week wearing a cast and sling part im not looking forward to. aaaaand, being the fashionista i am, i went and purchased this.

http://www.activeforever.com/p-4715-sling-couture-arm-sling.aspx

word on that, btw. and good thinkin on their part for not making them with sequins on the back end of it, only on the front. anyways, with this whole recovery time thing, my baby's daddy will be staying with me. great of him to help, but wtffff, cause im not sure i want him there for SO many reasons. like after 2 days when he bitches that the couch is hurting his back while im upstairs in a California King sized Tempur-Pedic nasa foam bed all by my happily lonesome. and what if he thinks this means i want him back? or what if im all doped up on painkillers and say/do something to where he may think i want to, when in a normal concious state id like nothing of the sort? ugh. this could be an epic show of patience or an epic failure due to lack of patience. we shall see!

so, everyone out in cyberspace, wish me luck, cause this is gonna be a whirl.